lucky 13 gal

No matter what life dishes to me, I know I am lucky to live the life I live.



Many people only see the outside of me, the hyper bubbly spaz blonde me on the outside. This is because I hide my inside 90% of the time. I have suffered my entire life with depression.The low energy, constant fatigue, want for pain, and lack of interest in anything that I love. I have always hated this side of myself, it lets out my inner most dark side. I have always been ashamed of this side of me. It has always been made me feel like as a failure. No one gets it, that hasn’t been there done that. Everyone sees people from the outside, if you look like there is nothing wrong there must not be anything wrong. No one knows the internal struggle. I know used to hide and be ashamed of this internal struggle, now I try to draw power from this.

I remember the first episodes of this was probably 10-11 years old. I obviously didn’t know what was going on but I remember that was when I fell in love with the rush and release of endorphin’s from body modifications.  Although at that age I thought it was a smart idea to use safety pins and rubbing alcohol. This was so dangerous and stupid, I can’t believe that I did these things without causing permanent damage. At the time my parents thought I was being a rebellious teenager and without out me knowing to communicate these feelings I had. I spent years fighting and getting grounded by my parents. I remember 7th grade on my dads birthday I even had the balls to show my parents that I had pierced my nose. It was the first piercing I had outside my ears.

It was about a year after that my dad was put on antidepressants which brought all of my problems to light, which was amazing help for me for a while. After a while the pills I was on stopped helping so I stopped taking them. I spent the next few years spiraling out of control, it took a long time to get catch that this was happening. At that point I tried new medications they didn’t work, so I started trying to find new ways to help it that were more natural.

Over the years, my methods have changed but it has been over 10 years without pharmaceutical medications to manage my depression. Over the years meditation, yoga, essential oils, sleeping and writing have helped me out greatly. I have also learned a few important things along the way.

  1. It is okay to take time off from life, within reason. I cant completely just crawl under a rock and forget the world exists, but sometimes just slowing down and vegging out on television and sleeping can be extremely mentally healthy.
  2. Writing about nothing and writing about everything. Sometimes you just want to write about all of your frustration and sometimes you just put the pen to the paper and see what randomness comes out.
  3. Essential Oils have been a huge life saver. I use them in several different applications. Mostly I diffuse oils that promote mental clarity, energy and calming.
  4. Removing the stresses that are unnecessary. The little things like keeping a clean house and a organized schedule are extremely helpful.
  5. Counseling is also a tool I have used off and on over the years. In all honestly, I should probably use this tool on a more regular basis. Talking to a 3rd party is very calming and helps me see the rational side of life when I struggle.
  6. Last and probably the single most important thing, I have learned is to say NO and that it is okay to say NO. It is okay to say No, I can’t help you, No I cant attend that event, and No I don’t want to. So many people live life trying to make everyone else happy, where I have chosen to make my life happy and not worry about others.

Everyone handles life so differently and different things. Even though I have found that this works for me, it isn’t for everyone. I also want to make sure it is know that my doctors and I have an open communication line about my treatment and balancing. This may not work forever for me forever but at this point, this is the best option for me.





Why did I choose to start a blog? In all honesty it because I find it therapeutic. Writing has always been an amazing outlet to me. Once I start thinking the words just start flowing and I have a hard time stopping sometimes. Earlier this year my beautiful niece, Sydney started a blog and I found it inspiring. She sparked a thought and when I started traveling and actually allowing some down time for myself, I decided I was going to jump on board with her amazing idea and start a blog. Just like everything else, I started with the intentions of being 100% on top of this being a regular thing and of course I dropped the ball on that. Then yesterday, she managed to yet again inspire me with her blog on 10 reasons to blog. (I will link her blog at the bottom, you should check it out. I promise it is worth your while.) This made me think about why I chose to start a blog and what it means to me.

1. Writing has always been a calming exercise for me. I know I am not the best at it and my English skills and grammar can use some work. However, even with that I find writing to be weight lifting of my shoulders. I always feel so at peace after writing (other than technical responses those are just stressful)

2. It forces me to make some down time for myself and decompress a little. I am always on the go which is part of my life I enjoy but it is super important that I make down time or I will run myself into the ground which isnt good.

3. I finally believe in myself enough to do this. This all started for me back in Jr. High with a website called xanga, for my classmates and I, this was the first step into the social media era. I remember spending hours and hours with my girlfriends, looking for the perfect layout. (I remember mine saying I was funsize) All Xanga was really was blogging where your friends could follow and read your post. Or you could share poems, graffic’s, and song lyrics.

4. You never know what is going to happen in life. Life is constantly teaching you lessons that are both wonderful and devastating if my story can help even one person avoid heart ache or struggle makes it all that much better. I want to help people, I am often told I am too kind.

5. I love to try products out and share my opinion about it. I love watching YouTube and reading blogs about products, adventures, and lessons in life. I hope that someday people will enjoy my story as much I have loved seeing others. In an age of social media and the internet, Everything has its place and others that would more than likely enjoy it. All they have to do is connect and this is our vessel to do so.

I cant wait to continue to share my life stories and adventures with you all!

Dont forget to check out the Beautiful Sydney’s Blog @

Influenster Test: TRESemme Beauty-full Volume shampoo and conditioner

tresemmeInfluenster sent me two sets of the TRESemme Beauty-full Volume shampoo and conditioner sample sets. Although Influenster sent me these samples the opinions are all my own.

When I first saw this product, I thought wtf! why would you condition before you shampoo! I was convinced that this was going to be the worst but I still decided to give it a shot. With this line you use a pre-conditioner then shampoo. I was absolutely mind blown that this product worked so well. My hair was so soft and had so much volume. I loved it so much that I had to have my husband use the second set! (He has long hair and loves it when he gets natural volume.)

We both agreed that this will be the next set of shampoo and conditioner we get!


Influsenter Test: Chapstick 100% Natural Lip Butter

influenster-chapstick-blogThis past month I was blessed by Influester to test out the new collection of Chapstick 100% Natural Lip Butter. They sent me 4 chapsticks to try out: (2) Green Tea Mint, (1) Sweet Papaya, & (1) Pink Grapefruit. I have used them a lot the last few weeks as the weather has changed up here in the PNW, my lips always get super chapped this time of year. I thought that the Green Tea Mint would be my favorite but to my surprise my favorite was the Pink Grapefruit. The Sweet Papaya was my least favorite, but even with that I was still extremely please with all 3 flavors. Sadly, just like any other chapsticks I buy I lost 1 the Sweet Papaya with in the first week. ( I swear this is what happens to about 90% of the chapsticks that I buy). These Chapsticks have such a smooth buttery texture without feeling heavy or sticky. They absorb quickly and leave your lips soft and moisturized for hours.I will defiantly be buying these again in the future. Thanks Influester for this opportunity to review these.

Victoria, BC

Today my grandmother and I arrived for our mini vacation to Victoria and it is simply amazing! I have never been to Canada it is beautiful here but man is it colder than I expected might need to pick up a few warmer peices for my wardrobe lol. Today we went around on the hop on hop off bus. Since it is our first day we mostly road around and took in all of the beauty and decided what all we wanted to do tomorrow. We went to the cathedral today it was magnificent and we went to Oak Bay and had lunch at a cute lil Irish pub. Now we are just taking it easy for the rest of the evening so tomorrow we can explore till our hearts are content!!! I am so blessed to be able to spend this amazing time with my grandma! 

When blessing come your way…

Not every blessing it the most glorious thing at the moment when it comes. Sometimes your struggle is actually the blessing you need the most. I have been living in a foreign country for the last 6 weeks working 60+ hrs a week. I have had a little time to explore but mostly I have spent my time going between my hotel and work and right back to the hotel. Most wouldn’t consider this a blessing, long days, new unknown area, no family, being 16 hrs ahead of everyone you want to talk to can make for some long lonely times. How ever the blessing in this is that I have been able to get my family in a much better situation financially which is such a stress reliever! Being able to pay off debt and build a savings makes it all worth while…

The point of this is. Stay positive and focused on your goals! Struggles makes you stronger and they make you appreciate your accomplishments more… I am so grateful and blessed to have a loving husband that stands by my side even while I am an entire ocean away!

Ueno Zoo!


We have been working so much I haven’t had a lot of time to post much of anything. But last weekend on my day off I went to the zoo. It was so such an amazing experience, the animals all looks so content and we so active. I didn’t get to take a picture of it cause it was so dark in the area but I got to see a Loris in real life. They  are even cuter in real life than they are in pictures!

I figured I would share some of the moments from that day!


As we headed to the zoo we where walking through the park. I had to stop for food and a beer! These ladies were cooking up TacoYaki! I was so excited to get these. They are little dough balls with Octopus, onion and something else that I am clueless of what it was then they are topped with a unknown sauce, japanese mayo, then something other dried food. They where so delicious!

These are just a few of the amazing animals we got see on this adventure. I was having to much fun to remember to take to many photos. There is nothing like actually embracing the experience though, so I am okay with not having more photos.


Getting settled in…

Today was my first full day in Yokosuka, Japan. It was simply amazing. Dave Dick (like another dad to me) picked me up for work and made sure I got to the right place this morning. I worked a few hours then headed back to the hotel for a little bit before adventuring to the Japanese super market for food. When I thought that was going to be the highlight of my day, Dave and Debb called asking if I wanted to go to sushi at the Point. it was delicious. After that we went to the 100 yen store to get somethings we needed and hung out for a while at there house.

I would give more details of my day but I am too tired so till next time, love yall!

That time again…

DSC00010.JPGOne of the greatest things about my job is that I get to travel for months at a time to someplace different and do my job there. As great of a perk that this is; it is also one of the hardest things about my job. I love going to a new location where I get to live work and explore but I hate leaving my Hubby, and the norms of home. I am currently sitting at the Airport waiting to board a plane, I think about all of the good this trip will bring for me as a person and to my family. those benefits don’t make it any easier to know you wont be home for the next 2 months.I am so blessed to have such an amazing husband that is so supportive and loving. It is just as hard for him as it is for me to leave for very different reasons. While for me it is a heading to a new area of the world this time and submersing myself into a culture I haven’t been around for almost 9 years and figuring all of that out and being alone all the time for the post part. The Hubby has it rougher although he will still be in the comforts of home, he is now responsible for everything. A work load that is normally split between the two of us is now all on him. Caring for all 5 pets, doing all the chores, running all the errands. I strongly believe it takes a special strength in a relationship to be able to handle these long periods of time. It has been 2 years almost since I have been away from work, and this trip will be the longest we have ever been a part. As sad and excited as I am at the same time. I find peace knowing I have such as amazing supportive husband that has my back as I do his. I love him and am blessed to call him Hubby!

About the picture: This is one of my favorite photos from our 2nd wedding anniversary! This is the Fermount Troll in a suburb of Seattle, Wa.

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